My Father

After reading yuenlukluk talking about her father, it made me think about my father. He hasn't been a good father. He is now nearly 70, but he still brings a lot of hurts and mental burden to the family. My Mom also suffered a lot because of his irresponsible behaviour. He is seeking attention and love from us. Honestly speaking, we have been treating him OK, but no matter how hard we tried, he is still not satisfied.

Yes, he had a really bad childhood - abused by his father and perhaps no love from his father. But that does not justify his behaviour. I used to really hate him, but I had some breakthough in recent years and have largely forgiven him. I said largely because I would still have terrible nightmare about having quarrels with him. And whenever I heard that Dad and Mom had a fight because of his irresponsible behaviour, I would become very very upset. Sometimes I wonder whether he should die in order to bring peace to the rest of the family. But then, I know I shouldn't have that thought because he is still my father. That said, he really disappoints me sometimes...

I don't understand why he doesn't treasure what he has and try to enjoy as much as he could during this stage of his life and has to make everybody unhappy...